How To Lose Friends And Alienate People

The Devil Wears Prada + US vs. UK + celebrity “journalism” instead of fashion “journalism” + Simon Pegg being an oblivious ass.  Absolutely delighful.  I would call it a romantic comedy in the same bawdy fashion of Wedding Crashers. 

I was suspicious of Jeff Bridges character (much in the same way I was suspicious of Mel Brooks character in Robots), but he cleared away my suspicions very well.

The House Bunny

Very funny film from Adam Sandler’s Happy Madison production company. Smart comedy of the same bizarre, exaggerated streak that was present in Zohan.

An adult fairy tale about Shelly, who gets kicked out of the Playboy Mansion on her 27th birthday (that’s like 59 in bunny years), and becomes the house mom for a sorority house full of misfits.

Anna Farris is wonderful in another blonde bimbo role (a role she cultivated in the Scary Movies), but this character was surprisingly smart at moments and that pleased me.

Poor Anna Farris…she got a bad Botox job before filming…it slipped from my consciousness as the film went on, but it was very noticible at first.

The Mummy: Tomb of the Dragon Emperor

Whee!

I love the Yeti designs.

Scorpion King of the Far East, but still enjoyable….

I just can’t understand Rob Cohen…he doesn’t know when a franchise has stalled out (creatively) and keeps making movies with lots of explosions and violence regardless of which cast members want to come back, but then he writes the lyrics to the movie’s torch song which is beautiful and poignant.

It really is a shame that Maria Bello had to step in for Rachel Weisz, but Bello does a very nice job. Weisz initially backed out due to scheduling conflicts (which the web is praying is due to her portraying Ava Lord in Sin City 2), but it could have been her pregnancy or dislike of the script…we’ll never know. It’s almost like Back to the Future where Elizabeth Shue replaced the original Jennifer, but she’s really a secondary character. Bello does an excellent job capturing some of the pep, vim and verve that Weiss brought to the table. Also interesting how the trailers barely show Bello, which initialy lead me to hope that it would just be a father/son romp through the Himalaya’s. But I’m very happy with the results.

How is this not Indiana Jones? They did the same thing of jumping forward in time, except Brendan Fraser hasn’t aged as much or as visibly as Harrison Ford. They’re both wonderful adventure films.

I thought Jet Li was done making movies? Not that I’m complaining, I just dislike retirement feighnts a la Steve Jobs.

The Dark Knight

This film is staggeringly epic in it’s darkness and execution. Heath Ledger’s performance is incredible, but not in my mind Oscar-worthy (but the Academy doesn’t listen to me so we’ll just let Marissa Tomei win again ;] ).

I love that the movie opens with the Scarecrow (Cillian Murphy) because it maintains the new Batman mantra of not killing off your villains and letting them be little side jokes that Batman totally destroys.

Joker lines

I’m like a dog chasing cars…I wouldn’t know what to do if I caught one!

And here we…go! Can’t rely on anyone anymore…

Why so serious son? Let’s put a smile on that face….

Hellboy II: The Golden Army

Quite an enjoyable film. I have to admit I was originally a little irked when I saw that the film highlighted fantastical elements (á la director Guillermo del Toro’s epic masterpiece Pan’s Labyrinth), but Hellboy creator Mike Mingola as del Toro’s wingman, I can’t remain irked…nor can I complain about the results! Ron Perlman returns as the wise-cracking title demon, Selma Blair is firestarter Liz Sherman (Hellboy’s true love) and David Hyde Pierce gets evicted from the ADR booth as Doug Jones (the original body of Abe Sapirn) fully inhabits “Blue” (and does a wonderful job!). Agent Meyers gets traded in for an ectoplasmic, German, Stewie Griffen (Seth McFarlane put his incredibly talented voice into a suit that makes me think of “DANGER Will Robinson!”) and Jeffrey Tambor returns as Hellboy’s boss who is a very empty (and slightly gay) government suit.

Toss in an exciting plot about the children of the Earth (fairies, etc with a grim re-envisioning by del Toro and Mingola) trying to conquer the human race with the titular Golden Army (and a subplot about love and relationships) and you’ve got a thrilling and amusing comic book romp!

Hancock

I enjoyed this movie a lot….mostly for the twist, but I liked some of the other plot devices used. I always love stories dealing with anti-heroes and the “dark side” of heroics (lawsuits, property damage, etc) but I especially liked the plot’s take on being able to choose your own destiny….I mean we see that theme a lot (Back to the Future comes to mind), but it felt like this was a new and relevant analysis of it. Maybe it’s the super powers angle…I don’t know.

Good job! *teeth baring half-grin*

Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix

So I went to the 6:15 AM IMAX 3-D showing at the Irvine Spectrum with my dad and some of his friends and there were roughly 80 people in the theatre. Niiiice!

I’m probably the most satisfied with this book’s adaptation because it’s the one I remember the least. When I first jumped into Harry Potter, books 1-3 were already out and by the time I had finished book 3, book 4 was available and I readily devoured it. But after that, it was a long wait for this one, and I was even slower in reading it. So bits and pieces of it flashed back to me while watching the film, but not as much as, say, Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban (see my movie review)

The flame communication special effect was different this time around and I’m not sure why….

Didn’t the Thestrals (the invisible horses attached to the chariots that carry students from the Hogwarts Express train station to Hogwarts proper) look a lot like hippogriffs? But, you know, like dead emaciated hippogriffs? Eh, no quibbles really, just curious.

I loved seeing the stag much more clearly in Harry’s Patronus charm. I’m glad they were able to include it, and I loved the

The beginning of the movie threw me off a bit as I couldn’t remember exactly that we weren’t in one of Harry’s dreams and that it was Dudley standing there in silver chains.

Speaking of dreams, I really enjoyed the way Harry’s nightmare’s were pulled off, but some of the transitions into those dreams were awkward. The only one I can think of now is where Ron, Hermione and Harry are all laughing at Ron’s lack of emotional depth and then it kind of cuts to black and we’re in Harry’s nightmare. A lot of the transitions in the first hour/hour-and-a-half felt really awkward like that.

I loved the final battle…it felt really kinetic and was an awesome illustration of what was happening in the book. My only quibble is…

Spoiler Alert! (place and hold your mouse over the bar to see)

Bellatrix Lestrange used the Stupefy curse to knock Sirius into the mysterious archway (a jet of red light signifies either Stupefy or Rennervate according to Wikipedia (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Harry_potter_spells)). I guess the filmmakers made it the Avada Kedavra curse to simplify the plot - can't muck about with Harry wondering, "Where did Sirius go?" and such. I was also really sad when Sirius is showing Harry the family tree and starts saying things like, "When this is all over, we can be a proper family". DAMN YOU J.K.!

And of course, I can’t talk about the film without screaming about the pink, cat lady: Dolores Umbridge. A fantastic villain that demonstrates the dangers of politics and fear mongering, I was so happy when her character gets…oops! Almost gave it away! Don’t worry, she gets hers in the end.

The only musical pieces I can really remember are when the Weasley twin’s tear up Hogwarts with their fireworks and some of the credit music (really fun guitar licks), but I really enjoyed the underscoring – it was all well done.

Oh. And I’m frustrated because I have to see the movie again because half of the dialogue was imperceptible. No it wasn’t noisy in the theatre…it was just too damned early for understanding a think British accent.

I don’t like 3-D movies very much unless it’s a battle scene because my eyes must be all screwed up or something. Unless my eyes are constantly bouncing around the screen, I start to see through the 3-D illusion, which is very frustrating. Also, I just think it’s hilariously cheesy how they have to cue the audience into using the glasses with flashing symbols on the screen. Hilarious.

Every time I looked at Maggie Smith (Professor McGonnagol), I whispered a silent hope that she doesn’t die before the films are finished. We already lost Richard Harris…don’t make us replace another lead actor (even if her parts are very small).

All in all, a very enjoyable film.

Ocean’s Thirteen

I really enjoyed this movie. I just kept reflecting on how they took this simple concept (11 guys led by Ocean robbing multiple casinos) and turned it into this great con trilogy.
Could they not afford to pay Julia Roberts or Catherin Zeta-Jones anymore? Did Al Pacino take all their salary?
The Thirteen (there seemed to be some confusion about this):
The original 11
Danny (George Clooney)
Rusty (Brad Pitt) – why does he always get the worst hairpieces? Hilarious.
Linus (Matt Damon)
Basher (Don Cheadle)
Yen
Virgil and Turk Malloy (Scott Caan and Casey Affleck)
Reuben (Elliot Gould)
Saul (Carl Reiner)
Livingston
Frank (Bernie Mac)
Roman Nagel (Eddie Izzard)
Terry Benedict (Andy Garcia) – boy did he just come in for filming for just one day.
This trilogy plays into the Hollywood pitfall where the pecking order is (by popularity/overall enjoyment): the first one, the third one, the second one. Other franchises (can I use that word?) in this category include the Aladdin and Pirates of the Caribbean.

Pirates of the Caribbean: At World’s End – The World Premiere and The Midnight Showing

Pictures. So last Saturday I went to Disneyland at 6 in the morning. Why? Not to sit and wait all day to see celebrities – to take advantage of an empty Disneyland at 6:30 in the morning. I got several great shots of New Orleans completely empty and had an entire Splash Mountain log to myself (probably the only time I’ve ever walked onto that attraction and had the offer of staying on for a 2nd ride). After that I went to Swing Team Rehearsal with the intention of joining some friends later that day in Disneyland for the Red Carpet walk-by’s. But not before going into Jamba Juice and watching Orlando Bloom walk through Downtown Disney incognitos with a little girl (not his daughter…maybe his niece? No idea).
I came back around 5 pm and I’m on the hub right across from Tomorrowland. Unfortunately, by the time the celebrities get to us, most of them were hurrying past because Main Street was a real chore (as can be seen from this excellent review on MiceAge.com by Sue Kruse, or at Mouseplanet…or at Visions Fantastic).

In the category of rushed past waving
Geoffrey Rush w/ Monkey Jack and trainer
Kevin McNally – Joshamee Gibbs
Johnny Depp
Orlando Bloom
John Voight
Jonathon Pryce – Governor Weatherby Swan
Arnold Schwarzenegger – not on red carpet – walked out of Tomorrowland and across the carpet
Bill Nighy
Keith Richards
David Baillie – Cotton

In the category of walked by waving or sacrificed even more time to sign even more autographs
Lee Arenberg – Pintel (not the wooden eye guy, the other one)
Gore Verbinski
Martin Landau
Chow Yun Fat
Terry Rosio (he threw me 2 hacky sacks!)
Joey Fatone
Christy Carlson Romano
Wilmer Valderrama (aside from Johnny and Orlando, he was the biggest thing on the red carpet…I think it was because he kept signing autographs…half an hour after he passed, he was still working the crowd on the other side of the hub…people would be screaming and you could say, “Oh it’s just Wilmer”)

So after Johnny walked slowly past, I hurried over the DCA for swing dancing and that was my Saturday.

Last night I went to the midnight showing at Big Newport. I got there around 5 to stake my place in line (I was roughly the 5th group in line) but had to leave at 8 for rehearsal…saved my place with an umbrella…and by letting the people around me know. Got back around 11:15 and the line had not only grown length wise, but breadth wise. The best way to describe it like this: every person in line was already saving a place for 10 people, but each of those 10 people showed up with 10 friends. It was ridiculously crowded. And when they opened the doors to the theatre, the line just disappeared in the mad rush for the door. It was ridiculous. Then when we got into the theatre, there were people throwing tortillas…disgusting. Someone dressed up as Jack Sparrow made an announcement about checking under your seat for a medallion for a prize. I didn’t get anything, he didn’t project very well, but it was a very nice costume.

Finally the movie started. I was actually a little disappointed in this midnight crowd. They were rowdier during the trailers than they were during the movie (Transformers, Christian Bale and Steve Zahn as Vietnam POW’s, Live Free or Die Hard, Evan Almighty). But maybe that can happen with a less complex movie like Spiderman 3 and not with Pirates. The movie was absolutely phenomenal. Everything that was promised to us in Dead Man’s Chest was delivered one-hundred-fold. Learn Barbossa’s first name. Meet the 9 pirate lords. See the pirate code (and it’s guitar-pickin’ keeper). Discover Davy Jones’ true love.
The music was really good. The Davy Jones theme (the locket song) was weaved in and out of just about every theme because it plays so heavily into one of the core stories of the movie (the other core stories being Elizabeth, Will and Jack). That core story really ties a heavy element of mythology into the movie which I just love (I’m a HUGE fan of mythology, always have been, though I don’t know why…maybe I really am a fantasy fan). But what a lot of reviews are suggesting is that this makes the 3-hour epic into two movies: Elizabeth, Will, Jack, Barbossa and all the pirate-y fun in one movie and the mythological back story in the other. While this makes sense, I can’t really find a reason to disagree with the decision to make the film 3 hours long and have both stories in there. Although maybe it takes away from what people claimed to enjoy so much about the first film (the piratical banter between the major characters).
Regardless of all of that, the true glory for the movie goes to it’s truly epic final battle. This battle will be remembered long after the pirate phenomenon has faded from memory. I mean you get a small tease of the sheer scale from the trailer, but when you see the Flying Dutchman and the Black Pearl charging into the maelstrom at each other and hear Barbossa laughing maniacally as he turns the Black Pearl deeper into the deadly whirlpool…I was utterly speechless. It was just gorgeous.
All in all this was a really great film that I can’t wait to see again.

Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man’s Chest

Where is the line between Bill Nighy’s live performance and the CGI effects? That was one of the most incredible things I’ve ever seen…reminded me of the whole debate that went into the foam suit for Ben Grimm (The Thing) in Fantastic Four…live versus animated. Those had to be his eyes and I think maybe his cheeks (with makeup)…but those tentacles…maybe half were animatronics (the ones that flop about or puff steam) and half CG…absolutely incredible.

As the credits roll (9 minutes total…seems kind of tame for a film with such gorgeous CG), I scream at the screen when they say “Soundtrack available on Walt Disney Records”…the soundtrack doesn’t come out until July 27th…bastards! I mean…that’s what everyone told me Leave it to me to never do independent research…it’s available now…damn it!

I love the new Walt Disney Pictures logo…but why now? Celebrating the 50th? That was the only logic people could suggest to me. The logo is all about the castle, and the first castle is celebrating it’s 50th…and of course with that I do a little business query and go: what does John Lasseter (as the new creative king of Disney) have to say about all this? Did he have anything to do with it at all as this was all set up by the previous regime?

God bless Terry Rossio and Ted Elliot…they have a masterful story here and they weave so many mythological concepts together while keeping it plausible and well explained. Although Tia Dalma’s (Naomi Harris) incredible accent was a little difficult to follow at times and they gave her a lot of the exposition…if ever there was a time for subtitles.

How do the changes to the ride affect what is going on with the story? Jerry Bruckheimer denied Disney the right to change the Wicked Wench to the Black Pearl…clue or non-sequitur? Barbossa is the captain of the Wicked Wench and he is searching for Jack Sparrow…is he searching for Jack in the context of the first film or in the context of the second and third? Why search in the context of the first film AND weave Davy Jones into the introduction of the ride?